This glaring omission was brought home to me this weekend when my youngest son hit a brick wall with his head.  Screaming, he came running towards me with blood pouring out of the back of his head. It was at that point that I wished I had taken a first aid course, because other than stemming the bleeding and comforting my poor son, I was pretty clueless, other than thinking I needed to call an ambulance.

Luckily for us (and the potential emergency services that would have been called), we were staying at the house of a surgeon. Within minutes he had taken control, stopped the bleeding, applied an appropriate dressing and bandaged my son’s head (who by now was rather enjoying all the attention). I now realise I could have done most of this, if I’d just had the confidence, or perhaps some knowledge of first aid.

It is amazing that as parents we are not expected to do a paediatric first aid course when our babies are born. A few years ago, a mother saved the life of her young child just days after she had attended a first aid course – she was able to apply CPR. A survey in 2009 showed that 82% of parents would not have a clue what to do if their child started choking. Would you know what to do if your child burnt himself?

I’m now going to be looking for my nearest paediatric first aid course.

And whilst I’m at it, finding out where I can learn how to sew, cook, make papier-mâché masks, deal with hormonal boys, apply long division…

Amanda Coxen

This has had a positive effect on my daughter too – she insisted I put her name down for Rainbows (Brownie’s for beginners) when she was aged 4 (she’s due to start soon).

So what is about these organisations that still inspires kids?

According to my son it’s blatantly obvious. They do exciting stuff! This could be anything from table tennis or looking for insects in the garden to hiking in Burnham Beeches, archery, making rafts, bell ringing, marching with the town crier or, best of all – camping! It’s the real deal too, everything you would imagine camping to be; rafting, water slides and games by day, BBQ food, songs and ghost stories round the camp fire by night.

And what kid doesn’t like earning loads of badges to stitch onto their jumper!

All that stuff is great, and of course immense fun, but one of the nicest things to see from a parents’ perspective is the sense of camaraderie found between the group. The fun stuff happens, but it comes wrapped around a much more important message.  Tradition and old fashioned values flow through and there is a constant undertone to encourage people to respect and help others and to instil a good moral compass.

Parent participation is important, and this all adds to the community feeling which kids really like (and also seeing a parent make a fool of themselves is always a bonus!)

It seems Cub’s, Brownie’s and the like have it all sorted in a way that some other club’s don’t.  They offer more than just a fun activity.  They deliver an important message too.

Dib Dib Dob Dob!

Jayne B

Employing someone to work in your home

The difficulty is that having someone come into your home and care for your children bears no correlation to employing someone to work in your office. For example, can you imagine a worker in an office asking if they can bring their child to work with them? Well, in our world, nannies do sometimes bring their own child to work. If you love your nanny and you want to keep her, then you will bend over backwards to accommodate her, which could mean allowing her to bring her baby to work once she returns from maternity leave. That would never happen at Goldman Sachs!

Employment procedures

Nannies have earned the right to be treated fairly and the same as any other workers – I totally get that – the law is there to protect them from bad employers. However, I also understand that as a parent it is sometimes difficult to reconcile employment procedures with what is going on at home. For example, if you have any concerns about how your children are being looked after, as a parent your instinct is to protect your children. You are not going to want to hear that you can’t terminate the nanny’s employment without having to follow protracted disciplinary procedures dictated by government. But unfortunately that is often the case.

Nanny employment contract

At Tinies, we provide parents and nannies with guidance on the law – it is one of the benefits of going through our agency. You don’t even need to recruit a nanny from us – we provide a separate legal package tailored to you.

One of the best pieces of advice we can give you is make sure you draw up a nanny employment contract. Carefully list out the duties you want the nanny to carry out, and annually review the contract to make sure it reflects what the nanny is actually doing.

If you are not confident about drawing up a contract, then speak to your local Tinies branch and ask about our Legal Package.

Amanda Coxen

It certainly seems to be working.  My son is convinced he’s going to be a famous author one day (he wants to write a story about marine zombies) and my daughter tells me that she wants to live in ‘multi-coloured and glitter’ world, where fairies fly around, the grass is pink, there are permanent rainbows in the sky and she can eat her dinner from a cake tree!

I’m very pleased to see in the media a shove towards getting your children to read more, with celebrities such as Tess Daly and David Walliams encouraging children to pick up a book

There need to be more incentives like this. There is so much competition against the humble book, what with DS, Wii, Playstation and Xbox out there to name but a few, and I can’t say I blame kids at all for wanting to indulge in these gratifying and exciting games. If I’d had them as a kid I would have been the first to put my book down.  In fact, my brother and I had one of the first Atari TV consoles but I’ll stop there – I’m showing my age.

Schools have a very positive input too, keeping their libraries well equipped and run, creating reading corners and book clubs and embracing events such as World Book Day. I also hear a lot from parents who work closely with their Nannies and childminders to get their children reading more. And of course, grand parents are fabulous! My mum regularly read with me and is now carrying on the tradition with her grandchildren.

A child’s imagination never ceases to amaze me and there’s no greater tool for to firing up that imagination than a good story!

Jayne B

My kids are in overdrive this week as Easter approaches. The prospect of two whole weeks off, coupled with a vat of chocolate is enough to send them into orbit – and that’s before the sugar kicks in!

My five year old daughter has got THREE Easter egg hunts lined up – one with the school at the local church, one at her Nanny’s house and one with her two best friends. The first two I’m aware of.  The last one I know nothing about, including when or where it will be taking place, and neither do her friends’ parents.  Hmmm, might have to work on that one.

I do like Easter. The house seems a bit brighter somehow. Daffodils in the kitchen, homemade Easter cards from the kids depicting chicks made of yellow fluff and bits of cracked eggshell, the bread bin crammed with hot cross buns at varying stages of freshness.

I don’t understand why it gets quite so busy though. It’s hardly akin to Christmas from a last minute, panicky point of view, but still, last night saw me boiling eggs at half past nine after being reminded about the Easter egg decorating competition.  We’ve also had to make and decorate an Easter bonnet and contribute ‘Tasty Easter Treats’ to the PTA cake sale.

And who said there had to be quite so much chocolate? I can remember getting only two, maybe three Easter eggs when I was a kid, and these were presented on a ’staggered basis’ over the Easter weekend under the instruction “don’t stuff them all down at once”.  There seems to be a lot of sense in that statement, although I didn’t think so at the time.

It was always great when a relative turned up unexpectedly with an extra egg though!

And so, although my kids will not go short of the sweet stuff, I will try and make sure some of it lasts until Tuesday 10th!

Happy Easter!

Jayne

My lovely nanny is now back with us, and together we have drawn up a list of (what I believe are) essential life-saving chores: 

1. Meal planner – whenever holidays come around, I suddenly panic about the meals that we have to prepare and cook.  So this holiday, we are going to draw up a meal planner. That means I know what items I need to buy and can prepare the meals in advance. This means the kids hopefully won’t get baked beans for 2 days in a row.
2. Trips away – we are going to look online and make a list of what is happening in our local area, plus any offers on trips to London. We are lucky that we live by the coast because when the weather is good all we really need for a great day out is a picnic and a bucket and spade.  But taking them on the train somewhere new is such an adventure for everyone, except for the unsuspecting commuters who have to put up with my childrens’ “dulcet” tones for the entire journey.
3. Shoes – I despair over this.  It seems as if each new term means a new pair of shoes.  This time, we are going to go and get their feet measured and unless we are more than 2 sizes out, they are going to have to wear those tight-pinching shoes/trainers/wellies for just one more term, because then it is summer and they can run around bare foot to allow the blisters to heal.
4. Clothes – see Shoes above for the same dilemma. What I always find at Easter is that the sun comes out, and it is gorgeously warm, heralding T shirt and short weather. My eldest emerges from his room, looking like Tom Hanks dressed up as a kid in “Big”, as he has grown a foot or two since last summer but unsurprisingly his clothes haven’t. So it’s online now to find some cheap summer clothes to tide us over until my sister remembers to throw us some hand me downs from her 2 boys.
5. Haircuts – always a good idea to book these in just before the start of the new term, and go for a US Marine style look.  That way they should last out the summer term without a return to the barber’s chair.
6. Stock up on rosé… no explanation necessary on this one.

Happy holidays everyone.

Amanda Coxen

Spring has sprung! New lambs are walking unsteadily in the fields, blossom is breaking out on the trees and daffodils are shyly smiling up through dew soaked grass. What’s not to love? This time of year is always so beautiful, fresh and full of promise.

Dates are steadily being crossed off the calendar:

• Half term, check
• Pancake Day, check
• Parents evening, check
• Mothering Sunday – oh, Mother’s Day!

It always seems to creep up on me that one. Not that I should be concerned, it is supposed to be about me after all. I shall just sit back, relax and let everyone else take control. Ha! Like that’s going to happen. Too much to organise.

How does Mother’s Day start…?

Usually, at about 8am (that’s a lie in) the kids come and bounce on the bed, bringing with them a tray of delectable breakfast: toast and jam, a mug of luke-warm tea and some flowers picked from the garden.  (One year, back in the mists of time, I actually got a glass of bucks fizz, but to be honest it was a bit early for me and I felt slightly weird until lunchtime when I had an excuse to have another one).

After breakfast we then get ready and pick up my lovely mum, either for dinner at mine or my brothers’ house, and we always have a really lovely, family day, with the main focus being my mum. She’s done it all before and deserves to truly put her feet up and relax.

I confess to disliking the idea of lumping all your feelings into one day when they should be expressed evenly throughout the year; however Mother’s day is a real chance to say thanks to our mums.

Saying thank you to all mums

Clichés aside, they are amazing. Always on call, a good mum props you up, listens and gives constructive advice.

So raise a glass to all those wonderful mums out there who are busy greasing the wheels of society and family life! Cheers!

Jayne B

The fact is, most children love the idea of having a pet cat, dog, rabbit, hamster, snake, spider – you name it they would happily give it a home, preferably in their bedroom.  And like it or not, research proves time and again that having a pet to care for is a very good thing for a child.

It can encourage their nurturing side, promote calm and instil a sense of responsibility.

We have a fifteen year old, geriatric slightly senile old black cat called Zippy, who spends most of his time being annoying; pestering everyone for food, scratching beds and carpets and waking us all up at 5am.  But a more loved animal I have rarely seen.  He’s an old trooper and will happily let himself be carried around the house like a baby or sit squinting whilst his ears are turned inside out.  Despite his age, he still musters up enough energy and enthusiasm to run around the garden chasing pink wool, dipping his paw into the pond and scaling the bird table.  The kids absolutely love him and think he’s hilarious.

Slightly worrying for Zippy though, is that they have already decided what pet they are having when ‘Zippy goes to heaven’.  According to them we are having a chocolate Labrador.  Poor old Zippy.  He’ll be turning in his grave!

If it were up to me, given the choice I would quite happily say no to another pet when the day comes.  The reality is they are messy, costly and a big responsibility, especially when you want to nip off for a day or two or go on holiday.  But when you see the enjoyment they bring to family life overall, the benefits far outweigh any of these minor irritations.

Chocolate Labrador here we come then. Or maybe I could talk them into getting a goldfish…

Jayne B

In my house this has presented some problems, which I should have foreseen as we had pretty much the same issues last year. The main issue is the fact that they have to come as a character from a book. Not a comic, or a TV programme or a film. So my 4 yr old was gutted that he couldn’t come as Batman, Darth Vadar or Spongebob Square Pants.  I managed to calm him down, and suggested that he go up to his bedroom and pick out his favourites books, and then we could choose a character from them.

My heart sank when he came downstairs with The Gingerbread Man, Mr Strong and Dr Seuss. The reason for my reaction is that I am the world’s worst “Creative Mum”. I can’t bake, I can’t paint and I can’t sew. I dread Cake Sale days at school, because every fairy cake I’ve ever made has flopped. I dread Hat Day at school, because every hat I make looks like one of my flattened fairy cakes. So when I’m faced with the problem of turning my son into the Gingerbread Man, or Mr Strong, or Cat in a Hat, I panic.

If my lovely nanny was here, she would rustle up the most amazing costume which would win first prize. But she’s not here so what do I do? Well, like any other frazzled and time strapped mum, I Google the problem. Now my son will look resplendent in his Tin Man costume, courtesy of Amazon. I told him that for just this one day, the Wizard of Oz is his favourite book, and not Ben 10 Alien force weekly magazine.

Having got over that smallish hurdle, my 7 yr old then piped up that he wanted to go as Frankenstein. Good grief, I almost cried. Cruel mother that I am, I averted that problem by giving him Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein book and telling him he would have to read it before Thursday if he wanted to go as Frankenstein. Sheepishly he came downstairs 10 minutes later and said he had changed his mind and wanted to go as a Knight. Express delivery from Amazon is on its way…

Amanda Coxen

Charming though the prospect of a ‘Waltonesque’ style family is, when you consider the reality it seems mad to even consider it. First there is the financial burden. Everything is so ludicrously expensive at the moment with household budgets being squeezed ever more tightly. Later there is the issue of having to fund your child’s college and/or university education, and then, chances are they won’t be able to get a foothold on the housing ladder and will consequently be living with you until they are in their mid to late twenties! Alarming prospect? Definitely. As much as you love them, you strive for them to gain their own independence one day.

The other consideration is not spreading yourself too thinly in terms of love, care, and time spent with your children. There is understandably a push to get everyone back out to work at the moment in order to drive the economy forwards and hopefully propel us out of this awful recession. Like it or not, the family dynamic is rapidly changing. Gone are the days when Granny lived next door and auntie so and so lived a few doors down and you could all share out the childcare. Mums are having to go back into the workplace earlier and earlier after having their children and this obviously places restrictions on time spent with the family.

A male friend of mine once shared his experiences of growing up in a family of six brothers and sisters. Although he has some fond memories of being in a large family, his overriding feeling was that his mum simply didn’t have enough time to cater to all their individual needs. She tried her best, but she worked a few hours a week and was always so busy running the home and keeping an eye on the younger children that he felt deprived of the one on one time with her he so badly craved. He now has three children of his own and feels satisfied that he can divide his love and time equally between them.

Ultimately, like everything else, it’s down to personal choice, we all have different views and ways of managing things.

I’m happy with two. It was always going to be that way for me having grown up with just my brother (and half-brother, although he didn’t live with us). We had loads of fun growing up with all our extended family and friends, but also got to spend lots of quality time with our mum and dad.

Jayne B