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Friends for Life

So our couples holiday has just ended and I've come to realise that you really CAN pick your friends. Looking back, my different life stages have called for different friends - but how did I pick them

12/06/2015

 

Once the blur cleared

Having returned from a trip away with close friends, I started to reflect on the changing nature of friendships. My thoughts (once the hangover had receded) led me to conclude that you need different friends through the different stages of your life.

A holiday with friends

We went away to Marbella (Marbs) recently to celebrate my birthday (together with half of Essex by the looks of things on the flight). I decided some years ago that I would not dread every passing year and ignore my birthday. Instead I made a pact to celebrate the ones ending in a 5 and a 0. This was a 5 year. I will leave you to guess which 5 and I hope you will be kind.

We took 3 other couples, and I can quite honestly say it was the best holiday I've ever been on. Well, other than the holiday to Thailand when I was 20 and fell in love with a jungle trek guide. But that's a whole other story...

Keeping friends close

There are many stories from the Marbs holiday, none of which can be shared. Except perhaps the one where I tricked my husband into thinking we were out there to also renew our wedding vows. I thought he was going to have a heart attack. Apparently it was bad enough getting married to me first time around.

Anyway, turning to the subject of friends. On the holiday, I had my best friend from school days, my best friend from law days and my best friend now. And it made me realise how lucky I have been to gather good friends over the years and keep them close. I wouldn't say I have many of them - as some have fallen by the wayside - but the important ones are still here.

Friends with benefits

In a very mercenary way, I also thought how useful some friends can be over the years. For example, when I was at school, I latched onto a friend who had an endless supply of Silk Cut and a holiday home in Kenya. Then later, it was the friend who had an older brother with lots of very good looking friends.

So it turns out I wasn't choosing friends for friendship sake, but instead to get a kick back. Could I have been that calculating? And am I still?

Well, I do look at some of my friends now and realise I have gathered:

a) a successful employment lawyer (who has got my husband out of a number of fixes)

b) an eminent orthopaedic surgeon (helped us bypass A&E on many occasion)

c) a rock star (great for festival tickets and name dropping).

So the answer is yes, I am still that calculating, but I would like to think that without their skills, I would love them still.

My only regret is that amongst my friends I don't have a plumber, a plastic surgeon and George Clooney. But there's still time.

Amanda Coxen, Working Mum and Tinies Director

 
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