Making Plans is So Much Harder Now

In my youth (which in my mind means all previous years right up to this point) I was a great planner and doer. If I planned on doing something, it tended to happen



Now I've hit my mid-40s, that all seems to have gone out of the window. I plan on doing things, or I have ideas to do things, and nothing happens. What's gone wrong?

Living the dream

When I was 8, I went to see Grease at the cinema. From that moment on, all I could think about was going to high school in the States and meeting Danny Zuko.

So after I finished secondary school I did just that. I spent a year on a secondment to a high school in New York. Dreamt it, planned it, done it. Except the Danny bit. I ended up going out with an English guy the entire time I was there. Definite missed opportunity.

Now it seems I have lots of dreams and plans but absolutely nothing gets done.

The boring to do list

I know that when you are younger, you have less responsibilities and your time is more your own. But that can't be the only reason why I'm failing to accomplish anything?

I'm worried it's because the things I plan now are not nearly as exciting as they were when I was younger. If I look at my "What I Plan To Do List", it runs something like this:

  • Sort out photos
  • Clean behind fridge
  • Switch insurers

That's hardly the stuff of dreams now is it?

What SUP?

My husband suffers from the same thing. The difference is that his plans can be relatively exciting. But he just completely fails to execute them.

"I'm going to get a stand up paddle board this year," he announced last month.

"Are you dear? Is that like the one you were going to get last year, and the year before that? And I think the year before that as well?"

"Might be," came the grumpy reply.

I'm happy to report that we are still SUP free in our house.

He did end up hiring a board for an hour this summer, which nearly involved calling the coastguard. So it might be best to steer clear of that little dream.

Involving the kids

We've made a pact to come up with exciting plans, and challenge ourselves to deliver on them. We got the boys involved, so they could come up with their own ideas.

The husband and I came up with:

  • Road trip - either to Australia, America or anywhere beginning with A. So it could end up being around Albania.
  • Go back to college - that one's for me. I don't want to do anymore exams, but I do want to learn something new. Apparently the family vote is for me to learn to cook, which I think is a bit mean - but probably fair.
  • Work in a hospice - again, that's me and is something I am determined to do after seeing a close friend receive unfailing care and support at a hospice near us.
  • Build a house - my husband has watched far too many Grand Design programmes and now thinks he can do this himself if given a plot of land. The holes in our wall where he's tried to put up pictures don't bode well for the success of this plan. 

What about the boys? They came up with the following:

  • Set up a factory that makes teddies that come alive.
  • Eat their body weight in Haribo and get into the Guinness Book of Records.
  • Throw brother out of window to see if he can fly which would also result in being put in the Guinness Book of Records.

However mad these plans might be, they are still the stuff of dreams. Now we just need to do them.*

* All except the boys' plans, which could result in nightmares, diabetes and prison, in that order.

Amanda Coxen, Working Mum and Tinies Director

Share this:
quotation mark
I just wanted to say a big thank you to Tinies for finding the nanny for us. The boys have taken to her immediately. Thank you once again for all your help.
Alison, Banbury