To Maternity Nurse or not to Maternity Nurse?

When you run a business providing Maternity Nurses to new parents, you get asked "is it really worth getting a maternity nurse when I have a baby?" on a regular basis. Of course I believe it's worth it and have recently found myself regretting the fact that I didn't have one when my second child came along. To be honest, I don't think I've had a decent nights sleep since.

Feeling guilty... 

My first child slept like a dream, he was easy to settle and fell into a routine with relative ease - my second may as well have been a giraffe - for those not in the know they average 30 minutes of sleep a day!  Rather than sleep, she would scream relentlessly for hours - sleep = standoff, who would give in first, her or me. 

Running a Maternity Nurse agency meant that I had a plethora of advice available to me at the end of the phone - but I felt that by asking for help, I was a failure. In the end, my husband took the initiative and spoke to a maternity nurse for me - in a moment of brilliance he realised his need for sleep was greater than my stubbornness and pride. She listened to what he had to say and then offered some advice - adding that if it didn't work that she would come in and help.

So, what did she say?

Treat your second child as an individual 

No two children are alike, so it's important to treat child number two as a unique being and not compare them to child number one. We had been trying to treat them the same and get them into the same routine. What we didn't take into account was the fact that they had different personalities and traits. Once we understood this, we restructured our day so that she had her own routine and not one that was being forced on her.  

We still started and ended the day at the same time, but during the day things changed. We went on to a 4 hourly routine. Our days suddenly got better, and with the aid of a white noise machine for bedtime, the screaming stopped and she lay in her cot content until she finally dropped off to sleep.  

While this isn't a solution for everyone, remember that every child is different. It made us realise that sometimes you have to think outside the box as parents, and that asking for help isn't the end of the world. We were too close to the situation to have perspective, and getting outside advice saved us. 

Think you might need help?

As stubborn as I am, I also learned that I should have asked for help sooner. Getting to the point of exhaustion wasn't worth it.

If you are a new mum suffering from sleep deprivation talk to someone, and if you're not sure who to turn to, give me a call - not only do I have help at hand, I've also been in your shoes and I know how hard it is to ask for help - there will be no judgement here!